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We think the DS (Discordian Society) is the hottest item to hit the holy market since Islam; here are a few of the reasons:

1) Organized Religion can no longer serve the inspirational needs of the modern consumer: it cannot keep up with the swift pace of scientific discoveries, which now all the really good religious ideas must do at least long enought to become accepted as traditions too sacred to examine. The DS offers alternative to Organized Religion, thus evading such problems entirely: Disorganized Religion.

2) Disorganized Religion hits the spot. What else, in the name of one God and one collection box, can take five different stands on, say, birth control–all at the same time?

3) DR (Disorganized Religion) offers, to those who have enough courage to maintain it, what the Erinstentialist philosopher, F.J. Discordeaux, aptly calls “a disintegrated view.”

D) DR, and only DR, recognizes the basic principle of everything: The Law Of Fives, which was so recently rediscovered for science by the Eristivist philosopher and mathematician, Lord Ravenhurst; that is, as Krishna Argumentum put it: “Truth is five, but men only have one name for it.”

E) Our competitors offer nothing but outworn stories about men who died long ago, but DR, and only DR, has an Eristic Avatar here on earth now! When we say, “He lives,” we mean it! Further, He works for the Post Office!!!!! How’s that for being down to earth?

5) The DS was founded some years ago by two people. Today its growth has more than tripled. Further, it is already infiltrated by a genuine Communist, has lost one book form its Bible, THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH, and has suffered several major ideological controversies!

We hope you are impressed. Nothing but DR offers everything for so little. Get yours today.

Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, Bull Goose Of Limbo & Protector Of Switzerland. House of the Apostles of Eris; United States Main Temple of the Eristic Orthodox Branch of the Discordian Society; Box 55555, Pentagon Bldg., Washington, D.C. 22206. Hail Eris.

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